Raising Attabury: A Contemporary Christian Epic-Novel (The Grace Series Book 5) Page 4

  There was a message from Joel from work. She read it and typed a reply. Nothing like work to take her mind off whatever real life problems life was sending her way.

  Ryder’s room. Eric had never met Ryder, but from the pictures and trophies on the shelves, he surmised that he was the youngest son of the Lawrences. Not wanting to be nosey, but wanting to know, he drifted around the room just to get a sense of the young man. A framed letter of acceptance to North Carolina State University, pictures of the young man in nice dress clothes holding trophies and ribbons.

  Eric inched closer and squinted to try to read them. The curiosity brought him all the way over to the desk above which sat the actual trophies. Science Fair. Engineering. An award for top Bio-Chemistry project. “Wow,” he breathed, “he must be one smart kid.”

  It was impossible to tell how old that “kid” might be from what was left behind in the room, and after a few more moments of inspection, Eric dropped his gaze and shook his head. He shouldn’t be so nosey. He went over to the bed draped with a red and black plaid comforter. Emily had assured him the bed had been washed since Ryder was here at Christmas. She had also said there were towels down in the bathroom for him, and he was welcome to all of it.

  For a moment he let his thoughts catch up with his life. It was so weird to be here in this strange-to-him room so far removed from his own reality in Raleigh. He thought about Dani and Ja then, and he considered calling them until his gaze slipped to the little clock on the nightstand. No use to wake them up if they were asleep. He sighed, stood, and grabbed his things. A shower after all the dirt of Attabury didn’t sound like such a bad idea. And with that thought, he left the room and the little cell phone behind.

  As the anger in her mounted, Dani closed her eyes, wishing she just didn’t care so much. Worse, she couldn’t really decide why this night was so much different than the others he had been away on business. Her thoughts went to the Attabury house, and anger created a slow avalanche into hatred. That house had caused her family nothing but trouble.

  Maybe she should have just had it knocked down and been done with it. Maybe the ghosts of her family’s past really were meant to be cursed by the place. Shaking her head, she fought not to remember the stories her mother had told her and her brother Mitchell all those years before.

  “People are going to take advantage of you if you let them,” her mother had said with venom and hate dripping from her voice. “Take my Grandmama for instance. She worked her whole life in that Attabury house, got paid next to nothing. And what for? Old Mr. Attabury was a drunk, and his wife wasn’t much better. She was a strange old bat, thought everyone was after her for her money or something. My Grandmama worked sun up to sun down for those people and never got so much as a thank you in return. Her life never amounted to nothing more than dust on the road to them or anyone else.

  “Now you two hear me, and you hear me good. If you ever, ever disappoint me by letting people out there walk all over you…”

  Dani really didn’t have to try to remember the rest. It was stamped on her heart so deeply it dredged up tears without even trying. She heaved a breath, and now even Eric had been sucked into the senseless vortex her family’s past had begun in her life. He was gone, trying to make this dream of hers a reality for what? Would she ever even want to go to that hate-filled house? Would she really want to vacation there?

  A hard knot filled her chest at the thought even as tears fanned into her eyes. There was no winning this battle. A part of her knew that even as she fought it. Still, the only thing she knew to do was to keep moving forward. Forward. To something out there she couldn’t really see.

  In all her days she had never found peace and happiness. If they existed, they must be out there, somewhere, and she was determined to keep searching for them until she found them. She would not live a disappointing life, amounting to nothing more than dust on a road. No. Her life would matter. She would see to that.

  And with those thoughts streaming through her brain and across her heart, she snapped off the computer, laid it on the nightstand, and shut off the light. On the pillow, she let her gaze slide back to the phone, and hating herself for being so weak, she reached over and slid it on. The cut of pain jerked her breath away, and she slammed her eyes closed as she silently put the phone down on top of the computer.

  Inevitable. The dissolution of her marriage and life felt so very inevitable, like it was lying in wait for her, knowing its time would come if it was just patient. A very real part of her wanted to just feed the beast and get it over with, but one small part held on, not out of hope but from sheer determination not to be the next notch on the family’s chain of disappointment and shame.

  “Get some sleep,” she told herself. “Tomorrow’s another day.”

  Then again, that was the problem.

  Chapter 3

  When Eric made it out of bed the next morning on the beep of his cell phone, he dressed in the jeans and button down shirt he had brought. Reaching into the duffle bag for his socks, his hand met up with the book he had tucked in the side pocket on top of them. With a sigh, he pulled it out and turned it over in his hands. He hadn’t had any time to read the night before like he had planned. In fact, he’d been asleep about three minutes after his head hit the pillow.

  He didn’t feel like he had much time now either, but a few minutes wouldn’t do any harm. Not really caring what he read, he simply opened the pages and began reading as he leaned back on the headboard and the unmade pillows.

  “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High

  will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

  I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

  my God, in whom I trust.”

  Surely he will save you

  from the fowler’s snare

  and from the deadly pestilence.

  He will cover you with his feathers,

  and under his wings you will find refuge;

  his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

  You will not fear the terror of night,

  nor the arrow that flies by day,

  nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

  nor the plague that destroys at midday.

  A thousand may fall at your side,

  ten thousand at your right hand,

  but it will not come near you.”

  Eric put his head back as his heart contemplated the words. Darkness and confusion seemed to ever be waiting for him, especially these days. He had wanted so very much to have a successful life and family. His thoughts slid to Greg and Emily, and he half-laughed, half-sighed. He wished that he knew their secret.

  Three beautiful, successful kids. Grandkids. A modest but loving home. Friends and family near and far. His mind slid around the thoughts, and with every one, he knew deeper that they had exactly what he had always wanted. Closing the book on his hand, he let his eyes fall closed. “God, I don’t even know how to say this. Show me how to do that… this. How to get here…”

  Shaking his head, he opened his eyes. That was the lamest prayer ever uttered. How could God answer a prayer Eric couldn’t even articulate correctly. Frustrated with himself, he turned so his feet came off the bed. He laid the Bible to the side and picked up his phone. He hadn’t even checked his email the night before.

  In two swipes he had the email up, and with two more he realized there was nothing pressing he needed to worry about. No, what he most needed to do was get some breakfast eaten. They would be meeting with Caleb at nine, and the last thing he wanted was to be the reason they were late. Standing, he slid the Bible back into the bag, grabbed his socks and put them on. It was time to get back to dealing with life.

  Dani didn’t even bother to check her cell phone the next morning. She had decided sometime during the night that today would be a good day to go in and get caught up on the stacks of paperwork on her desk. Saturday meant fewer people in the building and few if any distractions. The only pr
oblem was what to do with Jaden. That was only mildly vexing, however. Either Carly would be able to come over, or she could always drop her off at Mrs. McGuire’s. That would be far better than the two of them kicking around the house all day getting nothing productive done.

  Going out to the kitchen, Eric found Greg at the table alone. He tried to decide if Emily was somewhere around but couldn’t quite figure that out.

  “Morning,” Greg said, looking up.

  “Morning.”

  “You sleep okay?”

  “Like a rock.”

  Greg nodded. “There’s cereal up there in the cabinet. I would offer you eggs and bacon, but I’m not sure they’d be edible.”

  With a laugh, Eric went to the cabinet Greg pointed to and found the cereal. “Cereal’s fine. I’m not picky.”

  “That’s good because I’d probably poison you and Em won’t be up for another couple of hours. She’s not much of a morning person especially on Saturdays.”

  “This is fine.” Eric poured himself some cereal, found a spoon, and went to the table where the milk sat. When all was ready, he began eating, telling the little voice inside his head to be quiet already. He couldn’t just start asking questions like the man was on trial or something.

  Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

  Still he wanted to know, and would it be a crime just to state the obvious? Two more bites and he got up enough courage to say the words. “You know, not to sound weird or anything, but you’re a really lucky guy.”

  That jerked Greg’s gaze up. “Oh, yeah? How’s that?”

  Eric shrugged, thinking it should have been clear. After all, the man was living it. “Just… you know, great family, great wife, awesome kids. You’ve got it all. I guess if you want to know the real truth, part of me wonders how you did it, how you got here.”

  Rather than let him in on the secret of his success, Greg instead grew very quiet as his gaze slipped to the table and stuck there.

  “I mean, not to like put you on the spot or anything. I was just making an observation.”

  Very slowly Greg nodded, his gaze never lifting from the table. Finally he tipped his head and shook it. “Well, the truth is, I’m not real sure luck had anything to do with it.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Eric said, instantly seeing his mistake. “I guess I didn’t mean luck, like you lucked into it. I meant you’ve clearly worked really hard and built something really substantial with all of it. That’s what I meant.”

  However, although he meant it as a compliment, it looked more like it stung his host like a strike from an arrow. It was becoming abundantly clear he shouldn’t have said anything. He was making Greg look very nearly ill and horribly uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry,” Eric started. “I shouldn’t have…”

  “No.” Greg held up both hands to stop the statement. “It’s okay. It’s not that.”

  Eric desperately wanted to ask what it was then, but he couldn’t find the words or the courage. A second more and Greg’s hands came together on the table, and all of his motion ceased.

  “I guess the truth of the matter is, all of this you see is because of God’s mercy on me not luck and certainly not because of anything I’ve done.”

  That both puzzled and bothered Eric. “Oh? How so?”

  Greg took in and let out a very long, slow breath. After another moment, he leaned back in his chair, leaving his hand to peck at the table like a chicken on dry ground. “Well, a long time ago when I was young and dumb, I made some really monumentally stupid decisions.” He pulled forward, thought for a minute, and continued. “Em and I were just married, and I was itching to get out of here and go make a name for myself.” His eyebrows raised, and he shook his head. “Em didn’t quite see it that way though, and she really didn’t want to leave here. Her folks were here, her sister, her friends. When we’d talk about it, she told me this was her home, and she wanted to stay put. It was where she wanted us to make our home, where she’d always dreamed we would. But I thought I knew better. You know that Scripture about the man being the head of the household?”

  Eric nodded though he couldn’t have found it if he had tried.

  “Well, I thought that meant I could make the decisions for both of us, and she needed to just get with the program.” Greg sighed. “So I stupidly sent out my resume to a whole bunch of places without her knowing, and it wasn’t too long and I found a job out in California. It was an amazing offer, one I really couldn’t pass up, or so I thought. I couldn’t wait to tell Em we were moving out there. California. It sounded like Heaven on earth to me.”

  Although the words stopped, Eric didn’t push. Something told him the next part was not going to be something he wanted to hear.

  “Emily, however, did not see it that way, and she told me in no uncertain terms that it was California or her.”

  “Ouch.”

  Greg nodded but said nothing more.

  The pause began to fray Eric’s nerves. “So what happened? Did you guys move out there?”

  “Well, one of us did.”

  Surprise barreled over Eric, leaving him breathless. He would never have guessed this story in a million years. “You moved out there without her?”

  “I did.”

  “Yow.”

  “I can’t say I was the brightest bulb in the box,” Greg said with no mirth to the statement whatsoever. “The truth is, I was headstrong, bull-headed, and willful and so full of myself I couldn’t even see how stupid I was being. My mom tried to talk to me, to tell me we could work it out, but Emily wasn’t budging, and in my mind, her caving was the only way we could ever ‘work it out.’ So I packed my bags, and I left. I told her when she was ready to be the kind of wife God said she should be, she could look me up out there.”

  The horror was almost physically painful to Eric. “You said that to her?”

  However, Greg never really even flinched. “I did, and the crazy thing is, I really thought God was on my side in the whole deal, like she didn’t even really have the right to question me or have a thought or opinion of her own about that or anything else.”

  Eric could hardly imagine Dani not having a thought or opinion of her own. She would’ve killed him and roasted him over a spit had he tried something so stupid. “But you came back?”

  That elicited a hollow-sounding snort. “Yeah.”

  Why did that not sound like a joyous reunion?

  Slowly Greg slid his hands back and forth. “Lot of things happened out in California, things I’m not proud of, things most days I’d rather forget.” He closed his eyes and let out a very long breath that had Eric again thinking he wished he’d kept his questions to himself. When Greg opened his eyes, he didn’t so much as glance at his guest who was riveted to the spectacle though he should’ve been polite enough to look away. “There was a girl out there that worked at my firm, Ericka. She was… well, she was beautiful for one thing and so unbelievably sweet. We really hit it off.”

  Horror crawled over the horror, and Eric could hardly keep it from finding his face. Why had he asked again?

  “Em and I were separated. At least that’s what I told myself, one step away from divorce really. We probably could’ve gotten one without much trouble because we hadn’t even been married that long, no kids, no real strings. We were high school sweethearts who I guess didn’t really even know what love was. Young and naïve or something like that. I don’t know.” He shrugged and sat back again. “I’ve tried to figure it out over the years, what happened and why. Closest thing I can tell you is, I thought love meant how you felt about someone, and when she didn’t fall in line and do what I wanted her to, be who I wanted her to be, I fell out of love real quick.” The words looked painful as they crossed his face. “I don’t ever remember anybody telling me back then that love is a choice not a feeling. It’s what you choose to do and how you choose to be no matter what your feelings about the situation might say.”

  He shook his head as his gaze burrowed deeper into the
memories. “I think that’s what finally brought me back. Because as awful as I was to Em, and I was awful, she didn’t give up on me. Oh, don’t get me wrong. We definitely have our moments, but after all the junk I put her through, that she would take me back when I finally woke up to what a jerk I was being…” He shook his head again. “I still can’t explain that one.” His smile at Eric was tight and hard. “Probably never will be able to. I do know I put her through hell, and sometimes I’m not sure why I’m even here, why she took me back after the idiot I was.”

  Reaching up, he scratched his head before continuing. “Six months later we found out we were expecting.”

  Eric nodded, glad to finally find a happy moment in the whole sad story.

  A second and Greg laughed, but it didn’t sound happy. Instead it sounded like it was filled with ironic sarcasm. “Four months after that I found out I had a new baby girl.”

  Blinking, Eric fought to get the timeline to add up. “Four months…?”

  Greg nodded very slowly. A moment and one more, and the pieces fell into place in Eric’s head with such a shock, it nearly knocked him backward.

  “Ericka,” he said, his entire being lashed by the name.

  “Ericka.” For a long minute Greg said nothing more. “I’m not sure I could’ve done anything worse to Em if I had tried.” When he sniffed, it was clear he still felt the grave injustice he had inflicted upon his wife.

  Truly Eric did not know what to say. Here was a man he had looked up to as a role model, and yet…

  “That was about the scariest time of my life. Em… Well, it was awful, let’s just put it that way. She moved out, went back to live with her folks. Ericka was dealing with the wreck I’d left her in. I don’t know. It was a horrendous mess. And I honestly don’t know how we ever made it through all of that. The devastation was just… it’s hard to even put it into words how much I hurt… both of them really. Because I was an idiot who thought the world owed me whatever I wanted. It took a ton of begging and pleading and groveling before Em took me back, and I’ve known ever since then that I could never really make up for the hell I put her through.”